No, really

I wish you could meet this guy that I am spending my time with while I am out of town for work. I'll give you the highlights:

• Our first evening at dinner was spent with him giving me all the tools I should use to get The Mr. to attend church with me. This included (but wasn't limited to) first convincing him to join the Knights of Columbus, encouraging him to attend the RCIA program, and finally asking him if he would just go to church "for me".

I feel like I should discuss this first bullet point more. The Mr. and I don't care for the priests at the local Catholic church. One of them seems to fall asleep during communion while holding up the bread for the blessing. The other one has a very heavy accent and after 2.5 hours* of Midnight Mass at Christmas and what felt like a repeat of Talladega Nights and "baaaaaaaaaby Jesus" we have decided that we just can't handle that anymore. Plus, even if we could handle one more than the other - they don't have a schedule for who says which mass - so it's not like you can avoid the one you don't care for.

Did I mention that their "Sunday school" classes happen in the afternoons during the week? So even if we wanted our children to attend Sunday school at this church - I'm not really sure how we would manage that (even though that's a long way off - but if we're looking for a church for our family...then it's something to consider). As a matter of fact, this guy that's trying to convince my hubs to go to church told me the "easy" solution to children going to Sunday school: "Just get one of your Catholic friends to take them." We live in the South - I can count on one finger the number of Catholic friends we have...and they don't attend church. So you figure that one out.

I shot holes in all of his suggestions. Even if my husband were very interested in attending church on a regular basis - he would not be interested in joining KoC because it's a bunch of middle aged men with wives and children who get together to drink beer and get away from their families. My husband doesn't really need the excuse of this group of middle aged men to get away from me - he just turns on the PS3.

RCIA is like going back to school. Doesn't appeal to him whatsoever. And lastly, I feel like asking him to go to church for me defeats the purpose of him going to church for him. Which is what I think the ultimate thing should be. Plus, I don't think it's very Christian like to be deceitful and con someone into going to church. I can't make him believe and I don't think I should force him into either. He's not one who takes well to being forced to do something.

• Our dinner schedule is set by his TV schedule. Heros at 9pm? Let's eat at 7pm. LOST at 8pm? Let's eat at 6:30pm. But then he follows it up with "Well, you have the car so it's really up to you." Is it up to me? Because you just basically told me our schedule...
• The statement "I'll pick you up at 6" needs further clarification as in "Are you going to be there at 6 or leave here at 6?" ...what do you think it means?
  
• And last but not least - he is trying to manipulate me into leaving on Thursday so that he can be home to attend his Knights of Columbus "meeting"... I have offered to take him to get his own rental car but he has declined. I am tempted to stay until 4pm on Friday just to dig at him.

In order to keep my sanity - I keep visualizing puppy dogs hanging out with rainbow pooping unicorns in the land of bliss.


*we left after communion, which was 2.5 hours in - not at the end of mass. You know mass is too long when the people who are showing up for the next service could literally just get in line for communion from the previous service. That's terrible.